“Secretly Yours” Lacks Secret Ingredients for a Good Romance
It's supposed to have the "grumpy vs. sunshine" dynamic. Julian, professor at an Ivy League school home for a sabbatical, is not grumpy. Once he gets a face full of the female protagonist’s breasts, he is a horny, spontaneous, jealous wreck whenever he's in her presence, doing his best to impress her with every little gesture. Hallie, the self-employed gardener with no time management skills, is stuck in a state of arrested development. Hard to believe either of these characters are around 30.
It's billed as a "second-chance romance." It's not. We're told Hallie has had a crush on Julian since high school - to the point where she hasn't dated anyone since (there’s the tease of another love interest for her, but it never gets off the ground). There was an almost-kiss in Julian's family vineyard, but Julian doesn't remember because he was drunk. We don't even get a flashback to the kiss! It reads more like "in-progress first crush" more than anything.
The setting is supposed to be "small town." But it doesn't have the personality of one - no one runs into old teachers, former classmates, or cranky neighbors. Shouldn't there be town gossips? Someone else who remembers Julian from his BMOC days? It would be interesting if another former classmate remembered Julian differently than Hallie, since it reads like she’s built him up in her head.
The plot is supposed to revolve around secret love letters. Except it doesn't need the letters! Julian starts to fall for Hallie during chapter 2, way before any letter is written and delivered. The letters themselves have the exact same voice as the narrator: overwritten, ponderous, and full of generalities about LUV. The "conflict" shows up about 40 pages before the ending, and by that time, the main couple have already hooked up and started dating.
There's a miscommunication. But I'm not sure what it is? Julian has anxiety and fails to immediately explain a (poorly-written) panic attack that Hallie witnesses. Then she reveals that she’s been writing the letters and leaves a half-comatose Julian thinking that he feels betrayed. This is meant to be the emotional climax, but the tone and prose are too milquetoast to express any sense of urgency.
Hallie, the FMC we’re stuck with. She's horrible at her job! Though a savant at gardening, she's regularly late to appointments (sometimes by hours) and hates it when her clients request specific floral arrangements. Let me reiterate that: She hates it when her clients have their OWN landscaping ideas for THEIR lawns. And she brings her dogs with her everywhere, including on the job, where she lets them roam free? She'd drive me crazy. I can't believe this story was about competing wineries instead of Hallie's unprofessionalism ruining her career. Also, she menaces the new winery in town and we’re supposed to be charmed by this.
Julian, the MMC we’re stuck with. He turns into an Edward Cullen wannabe whenever he's alone with Hallie: possessive, horny, superior. He literally says that Hallie makes him act different than he usually acts, which would be interesting if he was a more engaging character. And the way he thinks and behaves around his so-called rival, gardener Owen, makes me think Julian hasn't matured since senior year.
Character writing mistake: Julian’s on sabbatical because his colleague had a nervous breakdown and he fears that one day he will snap in a similar way. It’s not a terrible set-up, but if you’re looking to up the tension, why not just have it so that Julian had the breakdown and is on sabbatical because he’s taking a rest? It’s more interesting and it would do more in explaining his supposed reluctance to put a move on Hallie (he’s not that reluctant).
The smut is pretty good (because the plot goes away for awhile). The build-up is not hot, but when it switches into smut-mode, it ramps up quickly! I would've appreciated it more if Julian didn't have to change into a different character every time they had sex. Where's my defrosting ice prince trope? Not in this book.
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