The good-enough daughter
I read Alison Bechdel's first book, Fun Home, about five years ago for a class and fell in love with it. I wrote on the poetic way the graphic novel juxtaposed text and illustration, and even got an A on the paper. (A less intensive review can be found here.) This offering was one of my Christmas presents. I had to read it twice before I felt ready to write about it.
After writing and publishing Fun Home, her hit novel, Alison is dealing with the aftermath. Her mother has, to say the least, mixed feelings about her daughter's choice to tell the story of Bruce Bechdel, her late husband and a closeted homosexual who (according to Alison) committed suicide. This time, Alison decides to explore the often tight, strained relationship with her mother, a formidable and somewhat distant figure. As she details her past and present with her taut observation skills, she draws inspiration (and similarities) from writer Virginia Woolf, analyst Donald Winnicott, and her own time on the sofa, discussing the lack of warmth and sharing in her family. With an admirable dose of self-awareness, Alison proceeds to suss out the little details that, when all fitted together, make up her odd bond with the mother who pulled away when she tried so hard not to push - and slowly came back.
There was a great clarity to Bechdel's Fun Home, a certain something that made it so immediately readable and rewarding enough to warrant further re-readings. You won't find this in Are You My Mother? - not on the first read, and only if you pay careful attention to the text . . . the heavily involved, wordy text. Bechdel's stubborn inclusion of research she culled from Winnicott's findings and Woolf's personal life means she has less time to answer the titular question of the book. This is too bad, because her mother is an entirely engrossing character by herself - traditional and conservative, a powerful actress, and an ultra-practical wife and mother who didn't quite click with her daughter. Bechdel's journey to find the love - the type of love - that she felt her mother never gave her also struggles for breathing room, resulting in an imperfect balance that will leave readers' heads spinning.
This isn't to say that it's not worth a read. As I fan, I look forward to re-reading this book and likely picking up on some little detail I haven't found yet. Bechdel's silent acceptance of the role of honesty in her story is gripping, and her overall dedication to her main themes (independence, the ability to separate from one's parents, acceptance of human faults) is commanding. It's just that it all gets to be so much sometimes. Her own mother, bless her, in her critique of the first draft of Mother? - a book obviously about her - reportedly said that there were "too many strands." For me, she hit it on the nail. I don't know if Bechdel was overcompensating or experimenting, but she could have made her point more eloquently in four chapters rather than seven. The passages about Winnicott, while enlightening, don't really go anywhere. Winnicott's theories about mothers and children - he invents the term "the good-enough mother" to describe a parent who tries her best - match up closely with Bechdel's own experiences. Her use of him as a guiding light tells us more about Bechdel than about her mother. Strangely, this is one of the few instances where Bechdel's awareness fails her. It's far more entertaining and profound when Bechdel is indulging in the meta.
In the end, you get pounded by words and extracts from essays and literary works that don't show us nearly enough as Bechdel seems to see. I mentioned overcompensation as a possible reason, but actually I believe it's also illustrative of Bechdel's reluctance to begin examining her relationship with her mother. Taken this way, it's pretty brilliant - but it detracts from the story, which is Bechdel's strongest talent. I hope, I pray to see other works from her, memoir or fiction - even graphic novel-less. As for Mother?, it's a frustrating and smart read that is unfortunately not about to make devotees out of those unfamiliar with her work. But in the meantime, it'll give your brain a decent work-out.
(tl;dr)
Rating: 4 dream interpretations out of 5.
There was a great clarity to Bechdel's Fun Home, a certain something that made it so immediately readable and rewarding enough to warrant further re-readings. You won't find this in Are You My Mother? - not on the first read, and only if you pay careful attention to the text . . . the heavily involved, wordy text. Bechdel's stubborn inclusion of research she culled from Winnicott's findings and Woolf's personal life means she has less time to answer the titular question of the book. This is too bad, because her mother is an entirely engrossing character by herself - traditional and conservative, a powerful actress, and an ultra-practical wife and mother who didn't quite click with her daughter. Bechdel's journey to find the love - the type of love - that she felt her mother never gave her also struggles for breathing room, resulting in an imperfect balance that will leave readers' heads spinning.
This isn't to say that it's not worth a read. As I fan, I look forward to re-reading this book and likely picking up on some little detail I haven't found yet. Bechdel's silent acceptance of the role of honesty in her story is gripping, and her overall dedication to her main themes (independence, the ability to separate from one's parents, acceptance of human faults) is commanding. It's just that it all gets to be so much sometimes. Her own mother, bless her, in her critique of the first draft of Mother? - a book obviously about her - reportedly said that there were "too many strands." For me, she hit it on the nail. I don't know if Bechdel was overcompensating or experimenting, but she could have made her point more eloquently in four chapters rather than seven. The passages about Winnicott, while enlightening, don't really go anywhere. Winnicott's theories about mothers and children - he invents the term "the good-enough mother" to describe a parent who tries her best - match up closely with Bechdel's own experiences. Her use of him as a guiding light tells us more about Bechdel than about her mother. Strangely, this is one of the few instances where Bechdel's awareness fails her. It's far more entertaining and profound when Bechdel is indulging in the meta.
In the end, you get pounded by words and extracts from essays and literary works that don't show us nearly enough as Bechdel seems to see. I mentioned overcompensation as a possible reason, but actually I believe it's also illustrative of Bechdel's reluctance to begin examining her relationship with her mother. Taken this way, it's pretty brilliant - but it detracts from the story, which is Bechdel's strongest talent. I hope, I pray to see other works from her, memoir or fiction - even graphic novel-less. As for Mother?, it's a frustrating and smart read that is unfortunately not about to make devotees out of those unfamiliar with her work. But in the meantime, it'll give your brain a decent work-out.
(tl;dr)
Rating: 4 dream interpretations out of 5.
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