Pride & Prejudice, ch. 21: Boy Problems

Credit again to artist Flo Minowa! I love this Bingley's gentle smile.

So despite an embarrassing, drawn-out rejection (thanks to his own bloated ego), Mr. Collins isn’t cutting his stay at Longbourn short, thus doing all he can to make an awkward situation all the more awkward. I’d like to give him credit for not running away—I really would, you guys—but his attitude is so irritating and rude that I suspect he’s getting a kick out of trying to make Lizzy uncomfortable. Am I reading too much into it? In any case, the only person profiting from this arrangement is Charlotte, thanks to her right-place-right-time instincts. But we’ll save that for a later chapter.

Lizzy gets out of the house and visits Wickham, who tells her that “be[ing] in the same room … with [Mr. Darcy] for so many hours together, might be more than I could bear, and that scenes might arise unpleasant to more than myself.” Interesting that he leaves it vague as to who might initiate those “unpleasant scenes” and under what circumstances. Does he hope to imply that Darcy would have him kicked out, or that he would be forced to confront Darcy after “so many hours” of being in the same proximity? During their walk back to Longbourn, she and Wickham take turns “civilly bestow[ing]” a constant stream of “commendation” on one another. Austen doesn’t bother to illustrate this back-and-forth in detail, which is a relief because it sounds pretty boring. I guess after a night of dissing Darcy, Lizzy is ready to feel proud of herself.

Lots of wounded egos to juggle all of a sudden, hm?

But then disaster strikes another Bennet sister: Jane receives a letter from Caroline Bingley informing her that the Netherfield crowd is wintering in London, and as a matter of fact will probably just stay there forever. (The Hursts actually do have a house there.) Lizzy notes that Caroline talking about Bingley staying in London is just that—talk—and that she can’t predict or control her brother’s plans. Then Jane reveals t Caroline thinks Bingley will want to stay there because he’s super into Darcy’s young sister. You know, the person who was brought up in conversation a handful of times at most, and never by Bingley?

I’d say that Lizzy sees through Caroline’s affectation of friendship, but honestly, you’d have to be the biggest dope on the planet to see anything less than odious in “I don’t know whether I ever before mentioned to you my feelings on this subject, but … I trust you will not esteem them unreasonable.” (Um, sorry, Jane.) Lizzy points out that a) Bingley’s admiration for Jane is obvious and b) Caroline most likely hopes that a Bingley-Miss Darcy hook-up will smooth the path for a Darcy-Miss Bingley hook-up.* If Caroline “had seen half as much love” as there is between Jane and Bingley “in Mr. Darcy for herself, she would have ordered her wedding clothes,” Lizzy asserts. Seriously, is there not a modern version of P&P where Lizzy Bennet is an up-and-coming stand-up? Darcy could be the serious dramatic actor she has a scene with who dismisses her because of her lack of formal training, and Wickham’s the current teen heartthrob trying to make his way through the Hollywood hype machine while hiding his murky past? Mr. Collins is a run-of-the-mill studio executive who thinks his job is worth more than it really is? These ideas are not owned by me, guys—go ahead and write this shit!

Ahem. Sorry. I, uh, switched coffee brands this morning.

Jane’s like, how can I marry a guy who’s into me if his sisters don’t like the idea? And Lizzy’s all, because he’s into you, you adorable dummy. Off-topic, I read several advice columns and I feel like this issue would be prime material for that. Jane seems to be putting her friendship with the Bingley sisters on par with her love for Bingley, which I can understand, being a tenderhearted first-born daughter myself. Her goal is to please everyone, but she must first confirm that everyone is equally deserving of it. The kind of mental gymnastics she’s using to try to justify respecting Caroline’s “interested wishes” are similar to the ones I’ve put myself through in the past. Fortunately, I also had a Lizzy (my mom) who reminded me to honor my own desires.

Lizzy is convinced that “a young man so totally independent of every one” like Bingley won’t stick around in London just because his sisters and friends are there. Hmm. I seem to remember a remark several chapters ago about not allowing for the influence of friendship and affection …

Soon to come: Charlotte has hatched a plan right under Lizzy’s nose that will alter the dynamic of their friendship. And for once I’m not exaggerating. 

*Such a tactic never seems to work in Austen’s novels. It backfires for John and Isabella Thorpe especially. The siblings-in-law who do get together (Elinor/Edward, Emma/Mr. Knightley) do so despite resistance or indifference to the respective matches.